It was still like a dream to me...a horrible one that I kept on praying silently in my heart to wake up from as I sat there in the hospital room beside Tinuke.What started out as a thought had finally played itself out.Tinuke,who's actually nine years older than I am happens to be a close friend that I've come to see as a small aunt due to her small stature and motherly nature.I met her in 2009 when I went to write my first Post-UTME at University of Abuja.We were lining up to validate our names when I noticed her standing all alone at a corner.Something in me propelled me to leave the line and go chat with her."Hello,I'm Kaycee",I said with a smile,"and I noticed you seem a little bit confused.Am guessing this is your first time of writing Post-jamb ba?",I asked drawing reasoning from her petite looks."She looked at me for what seemed like ages in a manner I couldn't comprehend before responding a "No" with a repulsive tone."Oh,ok.Pardon my intrusion",I said as I took my leave.I hadn't gone far when I heard brisk footsteps behind me. " I'm sorry for being rude",she said walking towards me."It's ok",I replied."I was actually doing a lot of thinking back there and you jolted me back to reality"."Wow,like seriously?..care to share",I inquired as we moved back to the long queue."It's a long story and besides,I just met you and I don't want to bore you before you go in for the exams"."Please do",I insisted."Well...I was actually reconscidering writing this exam"."For real?!",I exclaimed."You won't understand...let's meet after the papers huh?"."Sure",I answered as I dropped my contact.We met much later on and had a very lenghty discussion which was quite amazing as it was our first day of meeting.I got to find out that she had spent over four years at home trying to secure admission into several federal universities to no avail due to reasons unknown (because she always passes their exams).I told her not worry,that it would be a different outcome this time around and thanks be to God,it was.I didn't get to school there again as I traveled out to a neighbouring country to study.We never lost contact though as we always talked with each other. She finally succeded in getting admitted into University of Abuja to pursue her dream career course (Medecine),she used up all her savings gotten from her years of doing business while waiting for admission and had to even borrow from her friends just to make sure she wasn't found wanting in any area.She had just finished 2nd year and was about going to third year in 2011 when she found out her course wasn't accredited.This I knew because she called me immediately and was pouring out her heart-felt frustrations to me in-between heavy sobs.I tried my best to console her and kept on communicating with her by calling consecutively over a three month's period.After so many encouragements,she was later convinced to rise and pick up from where she stopped.She rewrote Jamb that year and then Post-UTME into UniLag.She got admitted to study medecine after which she checked to make sure it was accredited and thankfully,it was.I didn't get to hear from her untill ASUU went on strike that year.She was more frustrated than before as she had only just left her previous place of learning.I prayed and then assured her the strike wouldn't last for long and thankfully it didn't.We grew closer in our friendship during that period and we exchanged visits so many times.The strike was called off later and she went back to school.The year is now 2013 and I was done with my first degree.I was in Nigeria doing my NYSC and it gave me more chances to go visit Tinuke in person to know about her welfare as she stayed in Lagos which is an hour thirty minutes by flight from Abuja.All was going well untill ASUU went on strike again early August...this time around,indefinitely.Being the closest person that understood what she had been through and her level of vulnerability as she was a very unstable person emotionally,I readily made myself available to see her each time I had the opportunity to.I started developing feelings for her but I kept it in check because of our age difference and besides,I felt being her 'Trusted friend' was good enough and I wouldn't want to complicate things.It's been four months counting and the strike still hasn't been called off.Knowing the kind of person she was,I told her that where her mates are right now doesn't matter and that everyone's speed is not the same."You don't understand my predicament dear",I recall her saying one time she came to see me,"I am getting older by the day,I don't have any degree yet and my course is not one you finish in four years.My siblings have graduated and am the only one left in university...do you know how frustrating that is?"."I know Tinuke",I replied massaging her shoulders,"I believe God allows things to be the way they are for a reason and his thoughts for you are thoughts of good and not of evil".She later went home but one thing she said got me really scared..."Kaycee,I must confess,am very depressed right now and some funny thoughts on ways to end it usually pop up when am alone".I was about asking what that was when she changed the subject meaning she didn't want to go on about it. I was still controlling myself about letting her know how strong my feelings for her where getting by the day.I guess she found out somehow sha because she teased me about it the last time I went to see her before I recieved a distress call from her parents.She had attempted suicide and was now lying in critical condition at the hospital.I got the addresse and took the next available flight to go see her.I got to the hospital and met her parents and siblings in a very shocked mood.The dad called me aside and made me understand that they didn't want to disturb me if not for what she has been saying each time she regained a little consciousness before relapsing."What could that be",I wondered. He was about talking when I cut him short on reflex."Where is she?","Room 13",he replied.I then called her family together and assured them she would be ok.I told them they needed to go home and rest since they've been around for two days going on three now.I would remain and keep them updated on any improovement.The mom refused to go home but I insisted she did saying she could come back later in the evening.They all later agreed to come back the next morning after which we said a short prayer together before parting.I got to Tinuke's room and felt very sad at what I saw.She was looking very pale and white.Two bags of drips were being administered to her.As I sat there watching her,I couldn't help but wonder if it was the failed state of education and frustrated way of life in Nigeria or I that put her in that condition...I didn't say this earlier.When she teased me earlier on about my liking her,I quickly put up a defense and told her I didn't.All we were ever gonna be was just friends.I even went on ahead to show her a picture I took with one of the corpers.I told her I loved the lady and I had plans to marry her.My mind kept on pricking me and my heart pounded faster as I said these.I knew I wanted Tinuke...every part of me did,why I said what I said,I still don't know to this day.I was lost in over two hours of deep reflections when her faint utterances jerked me back to reality."Kaycee,I am sorry,I was scared you didn't love me anymore",she mumbled softly."No no,don't be,everything's gonna be alright",I said clutching her right hand tightly.This I said in faith not knowing what the future held for us.One thing was obviously certain,I couldn't bring myself to stop loving Tinuke who has grown over the years to become a part of me,one withouth which I wouldn't be complete.I know she's been through a lot and would probably still face many more but I'll be right there with her.
